What Could Have Been
by poisonousgodivas
Summary: Sometimes, the past has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim.


What Could Have Been

A/N: So this is an angsty piece that came to me in the middle of the night while I was in my bed. What can I say, I love torturing myself (and others) with angst. Right, so to make things fit, Republic City was not built right after the HYW was over. That being said, everyone is still living in the 4 Nations and stuff. Dedicated to all the Zutarians out there, keep flaming!

Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Nickelodeon and is produced by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. Believe me, if I owned AtLA, you'd know.

* * *

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."  
― Jarod Kintz

* * *

The rickshaw pulled up on the streets, startling the tiger-pigeons resting there in the early morning.

She rummaged through her pockets for some money to pay the boy. "Keep the change," She said. The kid nodded his thanks as she brushed the lock of chocolate brown hair that had fallen across her face and stepped out of the cart.

The brunette heaved a sigh, pulled her trusty parka tighter to herself, even though it wasn't very cold, and looked around.

Eleven years.

Eleven years since the Hundred Year War. Since she turned her back on the Fire Nation, believing that she would never come back.

But now, here she is.

* * *

"Katara?" Iroh asked wonderingly, rubbing his eyes disbelievingly and blinking several times before he sees that yes, the woman in question was really here. And once he has, the elderly man reached out and pulled her into an almost suffocating hug.

"I've missed you, Katara!"

"It's Mrs. Aa-" she started, but then fell silent again. Right now, she did feel more like Katara from the Southern Water Tribe rather than the Avatar's wife. Instead she leaned into the embrace, smiling.

The tea master invited her in warmly, as if she had never left. He asked no questions. He knew her well enough for that. No, he would simply be glad that she's here, and listen to her story, if she cares to share it.

Katara smiled. This was one of the great things about Iroh, he understands everyone.

"I've missed you too. I'm sorry I left without telling you, it's just, I-"

Iroh nodded with a kind smile that showed that he didn't blame her. "Are you staying long?"

"I've arranged transport that leaves in two hours." Katara said apologetically.

"I see."

They sat in silence for a long time, before Iroh broke the silence. "You want to ask about him, don't you?" Of course he saw all along the feelings she had for his dearest nephew, even before she herself did.

Katara didn't answer, nor did she disagree.

"He was devastated when you left, Katara." he said quietly.

Katara stared at her lap.

"He wrote to you, and called. He even flew to the South to find you after his coronation."

Katara knew this. Messenger birds were always upon her with unanswered letters she had been too afraid to read, and her fireplace full of burnt, unopened ones. And she hadn't been able to meet him when he went to look for her, because an argument from him would break her resolve. "We all knew the relationship would never work, didn't we?" she said, more to herself than anyone else.

How many time had she lay there, curled up in her bed, tears running silently down her face as she clutched her necklace like it's the only thing that could steady her heart, wanting to run back to him, to hear his voice? She had thought that she would be able to forget him if she kept away long enough. But she was wrong. She missed him so much it's like a constant ache eating away at her heart.

Then the letters stopped. Even he had to give up some time.

The Dragon of the West sighed. He knew that Zuko had loved this woman, and had never stopped thinking about her. Not once. But as time passed he learned to accept her decisions.

"He's at the Royal Park now."

Katara nodded, and stood. Iroh followed. She opened her mouth to protest, the closed it again, knowing perfectly well herself that she needed the company, even if she wouldn't admit it.

* * *

"Daddy!" a little girl of no more than five or six whined, tugging at her father's robes. "Let me come to the next meeting, pleeease?"

The man sitting at the picnic table, with jet black hair pulled up in a top knot and clear golden eyes, laughed. "Okay, I guess."

"Yay!" The little girl grinned widely, running off, clutching a straw doll with her.

"Zuko!" The woman sitting next to him chided. "I've told you I don't want Yuki anywhere near your work!"

"Aw, relax, Mai, she can take care of herself." Zuko laughed.

Standing far off, Katara turned to Iroh.

He paused, unsure whether or not to proceed. "Zuko and Mai got married a few months after he became Fire Lord. Years later, Yuki came along. She's five and a half now."

Much to Iroh's surprise, she didn't look hurt, she didn't even flinch or anything. She just stared at the family of three, for so long it seemed like an eternity. It seemed so right, the Fire Lord and his childhood friend. "He's happy now, right, Uncle Iroh?"

Iroh looked at his nephew. There is still sorrow in Zuko's eyes, and a loss that he knew no one but Katara could ever fill, but his smiles and laughter when he's with his family are true. "Yes, he's happy."

Katara smiled then. "That's all I wanted to know." She hugged the man who she had long come to think as her own relative. "I have to go now, Uncle Iroh. I'll visit."

Now she was finally at peace.

* * *

Zuko looked up just in time to see the unmistakable brown hair disappear into the sun's shadows.

"Idiot…" he whispers.

* * *

A/N: Because of the seriously messed up timeline and foreshadowed past, let me help clear things up. So Zutara happened right after the end of the war. Naturally, Iroh grew close to Katara too, hence him being her confidante in this fic. Zuko and Katara had this relationship going on, and eventually, Katara saw herself not fit for Zuko (because he's royalty, ugh I know) and also the Fire Lady title (things were getting serious), and that if the whole thing went on, the people of the Fire Nation would disapprove of her upbringing blah blah. So she left for ELEVEN FREAKING YEARS IDK WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME SOBS. That being said, I hope you enjoyed the read. And if you leave a review, I may contemplate on whether or not to put up the other side of the story mehehe!

x


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